Random Madness
by 01wmaria
Summary: A few parodies of random scenes, will be updated, please R&R rated T for things 5 year old's may find offensive :P
1. Pills and crack

**Random Madness: Matrix**

_From the scene where Neo is sitting with Morpheus and they are discussing the matrix and the pills._

**Neo: **So let me get this straight… you're saying that this room isn't really a room…

**Morpheus:** ….That's abut it

**Neo: **wow… that's well awesome….

_(Neo runs around the room in circles_)

**Morpheus: **Neo….will u please stop that?

_(Neo continues to run around the room)_

**Morpheus: **Neo... if u don't stop ill take you're crack off you

_(Neo stops and sits down)_

**Neo: **Spoil sport

**Morpheus: **I know isn't it fun, anyway, I take it from you're reaction you want in.

**Neo: **HELL YES!

_(Morpheus looks worried for a moment)_

**Morpheus: **I think you have had enough crack Neo

_(Morpheus attempts to take the bag of crack from Neo )_

**Neo **_(screaming loudly)_ NOOOO! MY PRECIOUS

_(Morpheus jumps back in surprise) _

**Morpheus: **On second thought u can keep it

**Neo: **I knew you'd see things my way

_(There is an awkward silence for a moment)_

**Neo: **So…….

**Morpheus: **………

**Neo: **Why am I here anyway?

**Morpheus **_( stressed)_…..Oh my god, I told u this before you crack head… you are here because u are great and you are going to save some city that is really important t us

**Neo: **Which city is this?

**Morpheus: **I cant remember… but anyway, first u need 2 make a choice, you can either take this blue pill and go back to you're job and pretend nothing happened or you can take this red pill come with me and I will show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

**Neo **_(concerned)_What's in the blue pill?

**Morpheus: **Toilet Duck

**Neo: **right…and the red one…?

**Morpheus: **Cranberry juice

**Neo: **I think I know which one ill be taking

_(Neo takes the red pill) _

**Morpheus **_(grinning):_You never asked what was in the glass

_(Neo goes pale)_

**Neo: **What was in the glass?

**Morpheus: **Pee


	2. Fights and Insults

_I do not own the Matrix or any of its characters. Please R & R_

**Fights and Insults**

_Takes place when Neo and the agent are just about to fight_

**Agent: **Mr Anderson

**Neo: **erm… yeah?

**Agent: **Morpheus never told you why You are here did he?

**Neo: **erm...yeah he did…

_(The agent ignore Neo and carries on talking)_

**Agent: **Mr Anderson…Morpheus wants you to take the box he gave you to mount doom and cast it into the fire to destroy it and its contents

_(Neo takes out a small white box and opens it , inside are loads of blue and red pills) _

**Neo: **No... my precious _(Neo closes the box and hugs it close and tight)_

**Agent **_(after looking concerned for a second)_I also know something you don't know. Morpheus is a hobbit, he wears stilts to make himself appear taller and Trinity is an Elf. What do you think of that?

**Neo: **_(looks at the ground for a min before looking up ) _I think you're momma dropped you on you're head when you were born

_(The Agent totally loses his cool)_

**Agent: **Don't you be talking bout my momma son, you don't even know my momma fool

**Neo: **I don't need to know you're momma when I've seen her, oh my god you can't miss her. She's so fat she walks into town wearing a yellow waterproof and people start yelling "TAXI".

_(The agent looks a little pissed but Neo continues)_

**Neo: **But oh my god, her weight is totally shadowed by her ugliness, she's so ugly that she had to tie a bone around her neck just so the dog would play with her as a child.

_(The agent starts shaking) _

**Neo: **And oh my god is she dumb, she is so dumb that it took her hours to cook minute rice… _(Neo is cut off because he has just been smacked in the face)_

**Agent: **_(yelling) _STOP TALKING ABOUT MY MOMMA FOOL!

_(Neo regains his cool)_

**Neo: **You're right I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking bout you're momma, I feel sorry for you're momma, having such an ugly child.

**Agent: **say what?

**Neo: **You're so ugly that aint a haircut on you're head that's you're hair running away from you're face.

**Agent: **_(shouting) _Right, that's it.. I'm so gonna kick you're ass

**Neo: **Bring it

_(They run towards each other and start fighting)_

_(Neo pulls the agents hair)_

**Agent: **_(in a girly voice) _Oh my god you bitch, stop pulling my hair (_he slaps Neo)_

**Neo: **Bitch _(he slaps the agent)_

**Agent: **Whore _(he slaps Neo)_

**Neo:**Slapper _(he slaps the agent)_

**Agent: **Slag _(he slaps Neo)_

_(Neo scratches the agent)_

**Agent: **Oh my god, my face, my good looks, no.. oh my god you bitch _(he scratches Neo)_

_(Neo is blinded for a moment and stumbles onto the track and is held there by the agent)_

**Agent: ** Ha...Neo you're gonna die... Ha

**Neo: **_Panicking) _Oh my god I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm young and I love trinity but will never have a chance 2 get laid by her, oh my god I'm gonna die_ (he stops and thinks for a bit ) _ wait a min… I aint gonna die… I'm the chosen one, I cant die.. _(Neo then proceeds to throw the agent off him just before the train comes and jump onto the platform. When Smith gets run over he does a lil victory dance on the Platform). _I did it, I did it, I defeated the agent, I'm so good...

_(at that moment Smith steps out of the train and neo stops dancing)_

**Neo: **shit... I can't be bothered _(Neo runs to the phone that is ringing and gets out of the matrix) _


End file.
